Step #11: Use your words...carefully.

Clutter kills. Perfectly nice coffee tables, closets, and conversations all have fallen-- slain by clutter. Yes, that's right. Conversations.

Have you ever encountered a verbal hoarder?

Verbal hoarders are the wining and dining set of modern dialogue . A V.H's communication is weighted with trepidation and often is executed poorly (if at all). They talk...a lot but, never seem to say anything. "What's the hurry?" they quip. "Have another plate of colloquialisms... we have tons. Pretty soon, you'll have no idea what we're even talking about." They use too many words and very often the most ineffective ones. V.H.s can upgrade a 10 second conversation to a 10 minute one. They are also a leading cause in high blood pressure and hypertension. Most love the sound of their own voice and surprisingly are NOT great fun at cocktail parties.

I, (sigh) am a recovering V.H.er---not so much the loving the sound of my own voice...or the cocktail party part. (I was built for cocktail parties). My Achilles heel has always laid in the trepidation portion. I always felt the need to justify myself. It was seeded in a lack of confidence that my ideas or opinions were strong enough to be heard. I soon realized that I was creating an environment where my ideas did not matter and my opinions were not strong. I would ramble incomplete sentences and mutter through with a constant din of nonsense. I stopped communicating effectively. My thoughts were cloudy and disorganized. Half the time, I didn't even know what I was talking about. I was moving through life like a zombie...and not even a thriller video zombie. I was a shitty zombie.

One day I just woke up. I realized I wasn't getting what I want, saying what I thought, or even living the way I thought I should. I got so fed up with my own mousey bullshit that I snapped; so I took all the unnecessary filler words I would coo and slip into my dialogue and removed them. I bagged up all of my insecurities and justifications, called A & E and got rid of it all.

Now, I use direct communication as a survival tactic. I'm an oral sniper. My conversations are like a heat-seeking missile. Efficient and always on target. I'm here for one thing and one thing only. No romance required.

Direct/Confident communication was a quick way to eliminate clutter in my life. It required no sifting through months of unread New Yorkers and Pottery Barn catalogs. It also was an attainable goal...something that I alone could control. I've found that it has also bled into my intentions for life. I am more clear and focused now than I can recall. I am no longer overwhelmed by the anticipation of what responses will be to my opinions, emotions, or needs. I want what I want and I ask for it. Because of it, I have more confidence than I once had and it grows by the day. That's pretty exciting, huh?