Step #12: Try, Err, Repeat.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Five year old me had about 63 answers to that question---one more lofty than the next. The sky wasn't even the limit. 5 year old me wanted to dance among the stars for eternity and had every intention of getting there.

When I think back to that wide-eyed, afro-donning, precocious child, my inner Phyllis Diller (she often lunches with my inner-Cher) takes a long thoughtful drag of a wooden cigarette from her trademark holder (little known fact: Diller didn't smoke), crouches down and says in her best rasp, "Listen, kid. The world's a tough place. You think you got it all figured out and no one's gonna get in your way? You're in for a rude awakening."

Jesus, Phyllis. That's tough talk.

Over the years, I have learned that the world is indeed a tough place. Life can be unfair. Sometimes you can work hard and not get what you want, or even worse-- you can achieve what you thought you've always wanted and find out it ain't it at all. Then, there you are.
Never fear. That wide-eyed child was onto something. She was just looking at it from the wrong angle.

Who cares if you don't know what you want? There's only a handful of kindergartners who declare their path for medical school and actually go. For the rest of us, the page is wrought with scribbles, cross-outs and eraser shavings. The most valuable lessons I have learned have come from discovering what I do NOT want to be, what I do NOT want to do, and what I will NOT tolerate. That's the shit that makes you know you have chops. That's where bravery lives--when you can stand up from the table and say: "No thanks, friend. I'm all set. This is not what I ordered."

Try everything. Know the things that are not for you. You'll never really know what you're made of if you settle. If your heart ain't it- walk away, cross it off the list.

You may back right into what you've been searching for all along.